Are You Thinking About Where To Go?
It’s that time of year again: Time for the family vacation. It’s a good time to rethink some things like perfectionism, expectations, and the meaning of the word “vacation.”
First of all, we call it a “vacation,” but if you’re the parent, it isn’t going to be one. Maybe I was slow, but it took me quite a while to figure out that I, the parent (and a single-parent at that), was going to work even harder on a vacation than at home, and that it wouldn’t be a relaxing time for me. Being around new things, they weren’t always as cautious as they should be, and I had to be vigilant. While we always had a wonderful time, and I always returned happy (and of course the kids did), I often returned more tired than when I’d left!
For inquiries with Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant, http://www.susandunn.cc.
The Kids’ Vacations were for having fun as a family! And kids don’t need a “vacation.” They’re always high energy and on-the-go, yes? Here are some things to keep in mind as you plan and take the family vacation that can keep you from unrealistic expectations which will erode your experience:
Kids are likely to become more boisterous on a vacation, because of all the new fun things. New experiences and new situations will present things they haven’t encountered before, so you have to be on guard about their safety on a constant basis. Try and GO rested; don’t plan on COMING HOME rested. If your child has never been fishing before, or never been to a bit-city museum, you can’t anticipate all the things they can go wrong, so don’t be surprised if they do. It’s part of new learning experiences. If they’ve never participated in formal night on a cruise, their table manners may not be quite in line. Anticipate what you can. Deal with what happens.
Understand that children will rev up for a vacation, not calm down. Some adults do this as well, of course. Some of us plan vacations where we can relax and rest; others plan mountain-climbing adventures, and barefoot sailing. Some of us plan both! Be mindful about what comes with the territory. You can’t cover everything, but you can cover a lot. One thing that’s very important with smaller children is “coming when called.” You can also buy those harnesses for errant toddlers, for their own safety and your piece of mind.
Last but not least, process after each vacation. What did you plan well, what did you plan poorly? What worked and what didn’t? What would you do again, and what would it be best to avoid? What would you do differently? Get the whole family involved in the discussion, so everyone becomes mindful.
And don’t forget the most important thing: find out what everyone enjoyed the most. Be sure and go over the good times with the family, and make plans for more in the future.
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